I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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