Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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