I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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