i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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