Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
