Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
