Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
