can we get nightvision for the apartment?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
