So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
