you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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