I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
