I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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