Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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