their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
