Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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