I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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