She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
