Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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