The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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