how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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