i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
