He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
