gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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