Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
