Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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