he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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