Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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