i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize