i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
