I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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