you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
