I must be too annoying 4 u.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
