When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
