Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask