Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.