Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper