I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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