This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY