Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize