Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
