well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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