o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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