Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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