belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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