I faked an abortion last night.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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