I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
