why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
