Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
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well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
false alarm, still single
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