I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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