Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
