I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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