she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
