Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
