and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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