I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
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I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
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