I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
