I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
