how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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