Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
