she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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