Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Apparently you make a good broom.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize