How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize