I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
